Monday, January 5, 2015

Athena's Life Hacks

I have a very particular set
of skills ...
Hello readers. I am Athena, the Goddess of wisdom, courage, strategy, math and justice, so I've got a pretty full plate. I would like to take time out of my busy schedule to offer you some life hacks to make your modern existence easier.
  • Trapped in a Minotaur's labyrinth without magic string? You'd be surprised how often I get asked this. "Athena, I'm in the Minotaur's labyrinth and I can't get out!" Well, sometimes that's going to happen. Not to worry. Usually there are rocks handy. Just pick one up and hit the wall. The rock will remove the dark,  burned human flesh-grease stained limn leaving a very distinguishable marking. The noise, however, might alert the Minotaur to your presence, but at least you'll find your way out!
  • Turned into a pig by Circe? Eat your way out! You're on an island and you meet a beautiful woman. She gives you food and drink and suddenly, you feel woozy until you wake up and you've been transformed into a pig. Before you panic, simply look for the herb moly. Eat as much as you can. After a few days, Circe's spell will be broken and you will be transformed back to your usual human form.
  • Fighting the Hydra? No worries. A little fire will do the trick! Hydras are everywhere these days so you are more than likely to run into one at some point. Whether you're out finding dolma leaves or on a mission for the Golden Fleece. You will eventually see a Hydra. The trick is that if you cut off one head, two more grow in it's place ... unless ... you cauterize the stump with fire. Don't have fire handy? Don't worry! Despite what most people think, their heads don't grow back instantaneously. It takes roughly three to four days for a new one to emerge, so you have time to run away and make a fire.
  • Out of arrows? Not a problem! Whether you're hunting either a stag in a forest or an escaped helot from your village, you will quickly realize that arrows aren't universal. But that shouldn't stop you from completing your hunt. Find some hardwood branches readily available either on the floor of the forest or on a tree. Normally I like softwood shafts, but hey, you're in a pinch, a hardwood is more easily found and will get the job done fine. Use one that is roughly 1 daktylos in diameter, but no bigger or it will mess with an accurate trajectory. Then find a stone and sharpen one end making sure to also whittle down any bumps or ridges in the shaft that will affect the accuracy. The fletchings are going to be a pain, I won't lie. If you can't find a bird feather, leaves can work. Find three leaves that are more or less the same size and with your knife, cut equal sized fletchings. Now, you're out in the woods, so adhesive is going to be hard to come by especially if there isn't a beehive around. But that's okay, because animal or human excrement will do. Just squeeze out a little glue and apply it to the fletchings making sure they're spaced equally! I can't stress that enough! With your knife, just cut the nock at the end and you're good to go! Happy hunting!